Catching Up

I’ve been meaning to play catch up here but my cold that grew into a sinus infection/double ear infection ahs slowed me down. Thankfully I was able to see my dr. before the Thanksgiving break..but the meds are slow in working. I’ve missed Enbrel last week and will be missing it again this week. You don’t realize how much you are helped until you don’t have your medicine! Two weeks with no meds has been rough.

I had hoped the medicine would be working by now, and while my ears don’t hurt as much….I’m still no where close to where I want to be. Lots of sleeping, watching TV, and resting for me. I’ve been slowed down in my writing, although I do have all my analysis done which is a positive! Now I’m just working on writing up the results, and then will work on the discussion.

I’m not 100% sure but I don’t’ think the final chapter will be even 10 pages. It is a different chapter 5, than most traditional dissertations. That is because Chapter 2,3, and 4 have been self-contained studies of their own. So it is not as if I have not written discussion/future research. I have done that for each study so this final chapter will be more concluding thoughts etc.

So yes, hoping to feel better so I can write more πŸ™‚ Hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving!

Sick Days

There is nothing worse than feeling as if lack energy to even move. This weekend I have spent the majority of the weekend feeling just gross. My ear/throat infection moved into a full blown cold. Yes the not being able to breath out of my nose and the tight chest thanks to Asthma. SOOOOO not fun! 😦

The usual lack of energy thanks to the RA/Lupus was drained even more as I was not able to get sleep and no matter what I did….the congestion seemed endless. It is moments like these when I really wonder why stay in school! Yes it is hard to finish the last semester of classes…mostly I think because it is the last semester of coursework! Sounds odd…you would think I would be sooo ready to finish and in a way I am….but at the same time I am tired too. And when you are sick….it makes that tiredness feel even worse!

But the positive side…tonight I can breathe through my nose again (WOW FEELS GREAT!) and I can somewhat breath better. The snow day on Friday was put to good use…I made some head way with my law class. Β I am a few cases ahead so I can spend the next two days reading ahead πŸ™‚ I am happy that Β I did not get behind! I just finish a 2-3 page paper that is due on Wednesday and I have my cases that are due for Law done. Β To get those done even when feeling sick….I feel proud!

I hope that you all stayed warm! Part of me is ready to face the week….but part of me feels as if the Monday blues have set in! Is it bad that I am counting down to Spring Break already πŸ™‚ Hoping that I get back to my usual self this week! Even more great news is that on Saturday, Feb. 1st. Β I am officially covered by my company’s insurance!! WOW!! First time since 2012 that I WILL NOT have to pay for my own insurance. Such an answer to prayer. Β I am so thankful for the Pre-Existing Insurance Company, part of the ACA, that saved me this past year. It was affordable and I was able to get to my doctors and get my meds….I could not have made it this past year with out the PCIP insurance I was provided. Thank you federal government! Saturday, I can say ….I’m insured again! πŸ™‚ YAY!

Here is to a great week!!! πŸ™‚

Snow Day!

Yup! We can only say that what….once every few years! Houston, Tx has a snow day tomorrow. For me that means a delayed opening but for others that means school will be closed all day. We are expecting snowy/icey mix on the roads…meaning that driving to work will be interesting! This week I can say one more week of classes is down, thankfully this snow mix and bad weather waited until Thursday to come. I was able to make it to class last night.

The bad thing is that on Monday night I ended up in the Urgent Care room again! 😦 This time with an ear/throat infection and a fever. Yay! So I’ve been on antibiotics for two days…trying to feel better! On top of that I also started a full blown cold 😦 Yup I feel pretty miserable!! I’m really hoping I wake up tomorrow feeling better. At this point breathing through my nose would be greatly appreciated.

I hope that everyone stays warm and stays strong this weekend! More soon! πŸ™‚

#coldssuck #spoons

A Writing Sunday

When you are running a low grade fever, Fibro is flaring, and your body’s pain level is 10/10….there isnt much you can do outside. However, after a few hours of sleep I am back on my awesome couch. I have articles surrounding me with several goals on my to do today. I have finished a preliminary definition for my lit. review!!!! Yay!! Now I’m adding a bit more literature support and then off to do data collection :-). I spent about two days working on my Moodle class…I finally have my syllabus done (woohoo)!

Today, my working writing Sunday will hopefully be a productive day. I’m learning each day how to balance…it isn’t easy living life with major health problems and it isn’t easy balancing those issues with doctoral classes. But good news one step at a time, one day at a time. As I learned over and over….one day at a time…don’t let go of your dreams!

Hard to believe 2013 is over…! This time next year…,what might have happened in your life? Picture a goal and go for it! And if you need any additional encouragement, my adorable little girl says “go for it”

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We have the best intentions

We have the best intentions…I went to bed early…hoping that I would wake up feeling magically better! Of course that did not happen. Again I reached a crossroads of pushing my sick body to go into the office or keeping my sick body at home to rest. I made the very difficult choice again (and it is a very hard choice) to stay home. It is not like I do it often…but each time I hate doing it. I wish I could will my sick body to just heal now so I can go about doing what I want to do.

You know sometimes we forget some of the challenges of living with RA/Lupus/Fibro….at least some of the challenges like going to work. On many days I go in and out of the office. And I don’t realize how for some people like me…going into the office isn’t something they can do. I also realize when I’m sick that I have to take care of myself. I cannot always be all about work or all about pushing myself. That is easy to say and hard to do because honestly I really enjoying getting up on Monday mornings for work. Granted, right now I work part time but I do enjoy getting out of the house. It makes me appreciate the quiet house when I come home and those men and women who work full time jobs.

Here is to feeling better tomorrow! I thought I could study but I think I need to spend the time I’m home sleeping and resting. And taking more NyQuil πŸ˜› Thank for cold medicine, thankful I live in a country where I can get medicine. And praying that with some rest, I will feel better. On my old body…colds would run their course in about 3 days….now I know to expect 1 week min. sometimes up to 2.5 weeks to feel better. But in those 2.5 weeks, I have learned it is better to rest now…then end up in the hospital later!

Off to rest!

 

And then there came

And then there came a COLD!!! UGH!! Β I hate hate hate colds. I started sneezing a lot yesterday and feeling my nose all stuffy. I thought it was because I missed my allergy medicine but NOOO! 😦 I woke up today feeling so rotten. The worst thing was I missed a party last night because I hoped and prayed that my feeling gross would stop with a nice long nap. Well it didn’t :(!!! ARGH!! Don’t you hate it when the colds just sneak up on you 😦

So anyways….I’m spending my night taking NyQuil Cold and Flu and hoping I can feel better by tomorrow when I have to go to work. 😦 Nothing like going to work with a cold but I hate missing work. And I think the office will be quiet at least a little quieter than normal …hopefully. Starting Tuesday I get to talk to our orientation students!!! I’m excited, I get to share with them a bit more about my Honors College that I work for πŸ™‚ I will be talking to probably anywhere from 50 – 100 kids every Tuesday now through August! I love the idea…and it gives me more experience talking in front of strangers πŸ™‚ With some practice…I should be really good by the end πŸ˜›

And tonight was one of the nights I am VERY THANKFUL I work ahead. I was not able to do much homework last night or today. In fact, I missed my usual writing time last night. I am usually in my office writing every night form about 7/8 until 1a.m. But last night I was in bed! Tonight I finished reading one chapter of my statistic (Whoop!) and now finishing up here. I might get one smaller thing done but I’m thinking I will probably head to bed. Β Tomorrow, Β I will take a nap and hope to work ahead a little bit more.

Future things for this week include creating a graduation and application timeline, typing up a research agenda, and researching universities. I also have to work on two conference proposals. Β Plus study for classes! LOL! This cold needs to MOVE ON!! So I can get stuff done!!

I’m praying that your pain has eased some this weekend. Cold or no cold…I’m working on smiling and relaxing before the weekend ends!

 

Whew!

Whew!! Wow I just looked at my date book!! My calendar says the semester will be over in a few weeks HOLY CRAP!!! I have a major paper due in one class…and that will include a powerpoint presentation on May 1st. And then in my second class I have a small project due next week and then a final presentation on April 24th. Β So I am almost done! Thank goodness I did a lot of work during Spring Break so I am able to go through the week a little less stressed YAY!!

Which this week Β I was extremely thankful for that because I spent the whole week sick! I did make it to work on Wednesday and Thursday but then I stayed home on Friday. I thought on Wednesday I was on the mend but I woke up so much worse on Thursday. Booo!!! But by this afternoon I’m feeling a bit better and I was able to work on homework this afternoon. YAY!

I spent yesterday and today catching up on my shows on Hulu! YAY! And then maybe tonight I will have some Netflix fun! πŸ˜› Thank goodness for those two ways of watching T.V. I have not paid for cable in two years πŸ™‚ …thank you Hulu and Netflix!

My goal is to start taking Arava again on Monday. It has been rough this week not having it but I had hoped being off Arava would speed up my healing from my cold. Not sure I can say it did but at least I tried! I was able to stay on my Lyrica so thank goodness my Fibro did not flare! YAY! Praise God!

Now to just make it through the next few weeks! I cannot wait until the 26th I am heading to San Francisco. My first time to the west coast! πŸ™‚ I will spend three days there…landing in San Diego on my way πŸ™‚ Cannot wait!!

 

Ahhhhhhh

Ahhhhh!!! I have laid in bed since earlier this evening…and yet sleep still eludes me! My hips and knees feel broken…my ankles are swollen and the rest of me….well if there were words to describe it…I would use them! Yes I am annoyed…annoyed because so many people (yes even today) give me speeches on how great I look, how much I do and how I must be feeling great….because I look great!

If only those people could see the true life I live! If they could see how I can barely move, or if they could see the tears shed because my body hurts so bad! If they could sit up and talk to me because I cannot sleep thanks to my pain! But alas they are not here! They don’t get to see my anguish and suffering and so they don’t understand the life that comes with RA and Fibro. And to be honest, it is heartbreaking!

It makes me so thankful for people who do understand! Although in my face to face life…..that number is probably less than what I can count on one hand! I am thankful for E, her texts all day keep me smiling and pushing on! I love checking emails because L usually sends me stuff when she can, makes her seem like she lives next door. And R wow, she is like a big sister and she keeps me going when so many times i want to quit! I’m thankful for my husband who tries so hard to ease my pain and waits so patiently to help while I cry in pain. I am thankful for them and others who do their hardest to understand the life of invisible pain that I live with every day.

Having an invisible disease is not easy! It makes you so strong but at the same time, some days you do just want people to get what you live with daily! Yes I am strong but I need a hug and to be carried some days! For those that do carry me, thank you! To those that don’t….please try to understand me!

Don’t ignore me for months and send me one line messages about how much you think about me….when obviously if in the last 7-12 months you have done a horrible job of keeping in touch! Your actions don’t match your words! Please remember, match your actions to your words! And don’t tell me…you look great so you must be feeling better! That doesn’t help me! Please don’t treat me like I’m an invalid and someone who cannot contribute, I may have barriers in my life but I have proven to be resilient!

Yes ahhhh that’s a pretty accurate description of the way I feel! I hope tomorrow the ahhhh is replaced with a smile πŸ™‚ again!

Hello Cold, you can leave now!

I hope today has been a far more productive day for you than me! I have felt under the weather since Thursday, this whole weekend I have felt blah!

My first cold med free and I will say, having an immune system you certainly handle colds better! However the pain has tripled and the fatigue has been higher than any number I could give it!

This all makes studying soooo hard! But I am determined to keep fighting! I do not give up, at least not this easily! It will take a bit more to knock me down and keep me down!!!

I will rest tonight….to fight harder tomorrow!

I will study my hardest tomorrow…to prepare for another week of classes!

I will continue to pray and praise God… to shine for God!

I will share my story…..because I want the world to know I do not survive…I live!

Praying for a great night, strength for tomorrow and for a day where I feel better!

It is a study day

My first cold of 2012! Ugh! Thank God for cold and flu meds! πŸ™‚ I’m spending my day studying, reading, writing and hopefully resting some! One of my study buddies wanted to read my book πŸ™‚ while her sister decided she would rather sleep!

Today I am about 3 weeks no meds! I am praying for insurance soon! My body feels so much worse with out medicine! I am praying for a change in our healthcare system! Just because you have a systematic disease does be mean you should be denied insurance! Keep me in prayers!

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