Can I leave my heart???

Can I leave my heart in a city I just met? Can I fall in love with the hustle and bustle of a city?? YES!!!!! I flew into San Fran on Friday, my first time to the west coast. Let me say I fell in love!

I fell in love with the businesses the streets, with the many different languages and food choices. With the thoughts and conversations I had with the people. I loved eating Thai food or sitting in a dinner. The architecture was just amazing. I drove up to the Twin Peaks and saw the gorgeous city below me….I saw the Golden Gate and the Bay Bridge. Wow, I pictured myself taking the BART and living across the bay in Oakland or Berkley.

The hills did not agree with my Fibro or my RA…I flared majorly. Probably in part to all the walking and the nights were cool. But despite the fatigue and the pain….I love the city.

One day I will be back! 🙂

I am now waiting to board for Houston…home here I come!


Have I disappeared??? Yes and no! I had a huge week last week with my classes. I completed a major major presentation on Wednesday night. Boy did it feel good to finish that presentation. And then I had to pack….I’m on my way to San Francisco!

Yay!!!! I am headed there to participate in some workshops. As a Barbara Jackson Scholar I am so blessed to receive such amazing opportunities.

I hope to post some amazing pictures! 🙂 I have never been farther west than Texas so this will be fun!

Also sadly I had a two week period of a major major flare….talk about torture. Those who sent notes and comments thank you! Rheumatoid Arthritis and Fibro certainly make life interesting!

Take care and I hope to post pictures when I arrive in San Diego!!!


As I Lay Sneezing

Sneezing…ugh I hate sneezing! Today the pollen/allergies have been sooooo bad. My nose was soo stopped up and now I am sneezing a lot! UGH! If  I am getting another cold I’m going to be REALLY mad. I know I have been around really sick people this week…please Lord don’t let me get sick!!!

Today was one of those days that I was sooo stressed. It seemed like everything that could go wrong did go wrong! It was truthfully one of those days where I wanted to crawl back into bed as soon as my eyes opened. My first thought today when I woke up was “gosh my elbows hurt” and no kidding you they did hurt. I could barely move my arms up and down and around. Trust me putting on my mascara was NOT fun! And I finally realized what was probably affecting me more than anything today….in a week from today I will mark five years since my daddy died. It does not seem like it has been five years…it feels like it was yesterday. I caught myself looking at his pictures this week and tears welling up in my eyes. Gosh Daddy you have missed so much….and it still seems so unfair. I find it hard to believe that five years ago I was beginning your very last week of life. You didn’t know me, you hurt so much…but I was there by your side. Watching and waiting…praying  that your pain would ease. It did….a week from today.

That said I’m making progress in my research YAY!!!! And I am enjoying it…pray with me (or think of me) I am working on a proposal and I really want it to go through. If it doesn’t oh well I have not lost anything that’s for sure. But it would be really cool!

And such awesome news…this time next week I am packing for SAN FRANCISCO!!! I have never been west…farther than Texas. I am flying into San Diego and on into San Fran. I am soooo freaking excited to fly and see the west coast. I cannot wait to do some sightseeing!!! YES I am counting down!! Rheumatoid Arthritis, Lupus, and Fibromyalgia you are not getting the best of me. I am going to enjoy myself in San Fran.

So yes as I lay SNEEZING I hope that you have a great night tonight..the weekend will be here before you know it!! Many spoons!!


Hang In There

Wow what a week! The good news is that I am getting into a NEW research project but I am also trying to finish two projects and research on a third project.  YES STRESSFUL! But the good thing is that I am REALLY learning time management. Today I had to come home and take a five hour nap after my meetings because my body was sooo tired. And I have had a major Fibromyalgia flare since earlier this week. I hate how even my fingers throb with pain. The fatigue is bad and then it feels like every touch, even my clothes, bring stabbing pain.

I was reminded today of how great it will feel one day to be pain free! For me that means the day I move from this earth into a heavenly body (if science does not find a cure/treatment before then). That might sound sad but you know honestly it is so great to have faith. My faith keeps me going and I am holding onto that faith today as I remind myself….take a breath, organize, and keep focused.

I am so amazed by the opportunities in my life, the opportunity to share my story, the opportunity to develop myself academically, and the ability to develop into a more mature young woman. Do I wish I did not have Rheumatoid Arthritis and Lupus…combine with Fibro… HECK YES! But I  am happy that I am using those for good.

My goal is to finish this last (or maybe not) degree by May 2015. Will that take a lot, A LOT , or work…HECK YES! But do I think I can do it…I will do my very very very best! I will stay focused, I will not be strayed…I will give it my all!

So back to the books I go! Hang in there…focus, breath, sleep, rest, relax, and stay focused!  WE GOT THIS!!


Goodnight Sunday..Hello Monday!

It is 11:57p.m. Sunday night is ending…and Monday is beginning. I woke up today finally feeling better….although I will for sure be taking Clariten tomorrow (and for a few weeks)

Have a great Monday, as it is 11:58 p.m. I hope that we focus our minds into thinking of some positives for tomorrow. Like hopefully tomorrow my nose won’t be stuffy. Hopefully tomorrow my Rheumatoid Arthritis, Lupus, and Fibromylagia will be in check and I won’t hurt so bad!

It is 11:59p.m. now think about things that you want to work on to make YOUR LIFE BETTER! I want to  be a bit more patient, I want to be more thoughtful of others, and I want to smile a lot more!

As Sunday winds down to a close, I hope this week is amazing.

Hi 12:00:00a.m. HAPPY MONDAY!!!



Whew!! Wow I just looked at my date book!! My calendar says the semester will be over in a few weeks HOLY CRAP!!! I have a major paper due in one class…and that will include a powerpoint presentation on May 1st. And then in my second class I have a small project due next week and then a final presentation on April 24th.  So I am almost done! Thank goodness I did a lot of work during Spring Break so I am able to go through the week a little less stressed YAY!!

Which this week  I was extremely thankful for that because I spent the whole week sick! I did make it to work on Wednesday and Thursday but then I stayed home on Friday. I thought on Wednesday I was on the mend but I woke up so much worse on Thursday. Booo!!! But by this afternoon I’m feeling a bit better and I was able to work on homework this afternoon. YAY!

I spent yesterday and today catching up on my shows on Hulu! YAY! And then maybe tonight I will have some Netflix fun! 😛 Thank goodness for those two ways of watching T.V. I have not paid for cable in two years 🙂 …thank you Hulu and Netflix!

My goal is to start taking Arava again on Monday. It has been rough this week not having it but I had hoped being off Arava would speed up my healing from my cold. Not sure I can say it did but at least I tried! I was able to stay on my Lyrica so thank goodness my Fibro did not flare! YAY! Praise God!

Now to just make it through the next few weeks! I cannot wait until the 26th I am heading to San Francisco. My first time to the west coast! 🙂 I will spend three days there…landing in San Diego on my way 🙂 Cannot wait!!


Getting there

I am thankful to say that I am getting over my cold. Two days of rest has done wonders, that and Tylenol Cold and Flu!!! I am hoping to be back at work tomorrow and thank goodness I only have one class!!!! That means tomorrow night I will be able to get home earlier, YAY!!! So another perk. I hope to get off work about the same time, and then I will be able to rest some before class. I cannot believe the semester is going to be over soon, just a few more weeks and the term will be over. I just keep repeating to myself, finish strong! This time of the semester is the most stressful for me because final projects are due. But I’m reminding myself that I have to focus, and just take it one step at a time.

For my personality, I will say I have grown into the idea of setting myself up time to do things. In that, I am planning ahead and working hard to stay ahead. That way if I need a night to sleep I have it. Or if I need a weekend to decompress I can take that weekend with out stressing out the next week. I will say this bought of a cold has been the easiest one (knock on wood) this semester. I think I can attribute a lot of that to having learned and immediately I took time to rest.

I’m a hard learner but I will say eventually I get things. But today I made use of my day at home. I woke up and completed three transcriptions of my interview. Now I am ready for the data analysis stage!! YAY!! I’m excited!!

Now off to prep for a meeting and then to an early bed. Thank you for checking in on me 🙂


Ahhh cold!!!

You know the week when you have lots of stuff to do…yup that is the week you wake up SICK!! Yesterday I started sneezing and coughing…in the back of my mind I was thinking “AHHH NO MORE COLDS!!” I started taking my allergy medicine hoping and praying that was it…part of me thinking it would not help. But I did try the allergy medicine only to wake up today feeling totally totally rotten. My head is all stuffed up, nose is runny, sore throat and overall feeling just rotten.

Not the day I had planned, not the week I had planned. I know I for one HOPE this passes soon. But at the same time I am proud. I have learned over the past few years…when sick STAY HOME AND REST! It is SOOOO hard for me to do this….seriously if I can move I will go to work. But I made myself stay home and I stayed in bed. I will say I have no doubt it helped.

I have said it many times….living with Rheumatoid Arthritis, Lupus, and Fibromyalgia….IS TOUGH! And inevitably you get sick. BUT to better handle my sickness…I decided I had to stay home and rest. I did not like bank account did not like it…but one or two days at home in bed…might save me $1500 in ER fees. I hate to tell myself that but I know my reality, MY NORMAL means I have to rest, and stay away from the world when I am sick.

But at least I was able to tutor statistics tonight, I have been working on some homework. And I hope to get some sleep and wake up much better tomorrow! Balance, focus on yourself, give yourself time to rest and slowly work on accepting the new you! The new normal you! I know I had my new normal sometimes…I feel as if I am barely doing anything….BUT IT IS MY NEW NORMAL!

Hang in there…have a great week! 🙂