How Much Do You Suffer?

Well tonight it is after 10p.m. and I’m still up! Why? My suffering is so excruciating intense that I’m not sure what to do. I know if I go to bed I will just get annoyed….but if I stay up…then I will be exhausted tomorrow! The good news is that tomorrow I get to leave work at 2:00p.m.!!! The bad news is I have to go get shots! Not that shots are bad but I HATE shots with a passion! I’m praying for calmness as I get the first round of Hep A and Hep B! Tuesday I go to the CDC approved location to the Yellow Fever shot! Such fun getting ready to go to Africa!

Oh nights like tonight I can not help but wonder the challenges I will face both spiritually, emotionally and most of all physically! I know that this opportunity for me is once in a lifetime! Although to be honest if I could go again I would totally do it! I know many people are very unsure what to do with my disease, in fact today I found out that I was un-insurably beause of my disease! Do you know how awful it is to find out that a company feels that your disease is terminal therefore they will not insure you? I understand that my disease is terminal and I have to learn to live my life adjusting to it…but darn to have a company feel you won’t live long enough to make a policy worth it…dang! The good news is that for some reason (I’m not sure why) I went ahead and got a policy for myself when I was 19! Little did I know that by 21, I would have a life marred with a disease like RA and Fibromyalgia.

Matt and I have spent our evenings this week with our College Ministry! It been great starting the beginnings of relationship with some awesome young adults! We are blessed to be where God has us and only hope that we can be the testimonies that we need to be in order to bring honor and glory to the Lord! It is him that we want to honor not ourselves! It has truly been a test for me because especially working long hours, my body is worn out and in significant pain! BUT the good news is I always enjoy myself and only hope that I am touching some one’s life!

Tomorrow night it is bible study! YAY!  Mid- week bible study is sooo good especially in this crunch time where I am sadly struggling to do my own Bible study! I am hoping to get back on that wagon this weekend! That is my goal. Also after this week my goal is to not work over-time! HURRAY! I will enjoy going to work at 6:30p.m. and leaving on time! It will be awesome! Thankfully thought this comp time has really helped me NOT need a lot of vacation for Africa! YAY!

The good thing is that things are going…the hard thing is that my life is still so very painful! Tonight I think my pain levels are about an 8.5-9/10. That means to you that every joint and muscle in my body feels stretched, swollen, hot and I’m in so much pain there really is no word. However, again the good news is that I can still SMILE!

Back to internet surfing! 🙂 NIGHT WORLD!!!

I’ll try and post shot pictures!!!!

Resting Sunday

RA sucks!!!! At least this weekend I have done nothing but rest all weekend! One of my biggest pet peeves is being unable to do things I guess maybe the lord feels I need more lessons in humility!

The good thing that I am extremely blessed with is the attitude that only God can give. Despite the horrendous pain I am so thankful that I can still laugh and still smile! I am thankful that I am able to see the good despite the bad!

The girls certainly appreciated my being home! They have curled up NRC to me and slept and they have enjoyed being loved on! Yes I do spoil them!!!

I am finally uploading this picture!!! I got this awesome key chain a few weeks ago and I finally attached it to my keys! I love it! I want to go here soooo bad!


What a long week

I think is more than a handful of people that I know that could concur, this has been one hectic and tiring week! Most of us at the office have worked tireless hours this week and the work is not over yet! 😦

The good thing and praise for this week was that my final grade was posted! I earned an A! Graduate school is over! Praise God! Only through god helping me have I survived and made it through doing as well as I have so far.

Bed time!!!

Hurting today!

Thanks to the hectiness at the office I am totally paying for it tonight! The good thing is that  a hot bath and reading in bed makes for a great relaxing night. I wish I had an ipod player in my bedroom! It would be awesome to have some music playing in the room while I’m relaxing. Maybe it is only me but there is not much that is catching my attention on Netflix! I love watching re-runs but you can only do that so often.

Tomorrow will be crazier than today and the bad (yet good) new is that it will only get worse! Good because we know that students are coming…bad is that the needs/wants/problems will always be there! I’m ready for the semester to start already!!

For me still no final grade yet 😦 I want my diploma NOW!! IRR so impatient..although I have been waiting for it for like 3 1/2 years so I guess I should not throw a fit about waiting any more!

Off to rest and relax! 🙂 Hopefully the pain will ease 😦

Hurting and thinking

For some reason my Fibro and RA are acting up tonight! I’m not really sure why other than that is just normal! It is hard to get used to this normal but the more I see God work, the more I am thankful for His normal. I know that probably sounds really funny if not stupid to be thankful for this really really crappy disease. And I can honestly say I would be so happy to wake up tomorrow with no Fibro and no RA! However instead I am thankful for all he is doing WITH and through my disease. I know I have supporters out there praying God please heal! I do thank those of you who do that but instead I’m asking you to focus your prayer not so much on God taking these diseases and problems away. Instead pray that good can come through the bad!

Strange right? Well as a Christian I guess some would call me strange. But I do believe in good through bad!

Tomorrow starts a crazy hectic week! I am still waiting on my final grade for my class!!! Let’s see if I break the all A’s. That would be ok although I’m praying I did ok! I made A’s on both my last papers but the exams were rough!

Ok night for tonight! No shots for Africa this week! Two next week eewwwww!!!! Any one have any good sites to get info on Rwanda??? I also need to start writing my letters of intent! I have one packet due October 1st!!!! I need to get writing!

Night night!